Holiday Running

It’s nearly Christmas and I am about to go out for another training run. Fitting my runs is something I always struggle with. It’s easy to find an excuse of why I could put it off until tomorrow, but it seems as though those reasons are more readily available over the holidays. Like really, a run on Boxing Day??? Arrg!

Truth be told, Christmas isn’t really one of my favorite times of the year. I feel like I am always pulled in a million different directions, and if I even think about saying no to one person, guilt will eat my guts more than the stress. And then there is the pressure of trying to find the perfect gifts without going over budget. Seriously, what do you get for someone who says they don’t need anything??? Oh yes, and you have to smile and ‘enjoy’ each moment with those family members you only see once a year. It’s a wonder we don’t all end up in the hospital with ulcers!

This year I have decided things will be different. This year I am choosing a new perspective on Christmas. I am choosing to enjoy spending time with the people I love. I am going to stay up late. I am going to drive around and look at Christmas lights. I am going to drink lots of wine. I am going to join in every board game that is played. I am going to give hugs like they are going out of style. But most importantly… I am going to be sure I fit in each one of my scheduled runs.

The way I see it, if I can start my day outside, on a beautiful trail, in the fresh air, with the snow crunching under my feet… I know everything else will be a breeze.

Merry Christmas!

Back on the Wagon

So, I am back on the wagon... if that's how the saying goes.  I am running again, and actually considering training for another race!  This time is different though, this time it's for me!  For the most part, I have been motivated, maybe even excited to go for a run when I get home from work... but the day will come when I honestly would rather snuggle up with a blanket and cuddle with Rylee.  I am not totally sure how I will handle it when that day comes, but I will keep you posted.

Why I Run...

Since last blogging in July I have pretty much given up on running... we have had a huge falling out.  It was actually to the point where I nearly HATED it!  Now here I am, 4 months later, after much soul searching and running withdrawal, with a few important conclusions...

This challenge of running every day made running, something that I loved so much, a chore for me.  It got to the point that I would put off my run until the last minute, I would stall to get ready for my run, and then I would stall at the doorway until Matt kicked me out the door reminding me of how good I would feel when it was finished.  I was dreading each and every run!  I forgot the most important thing... Why I run!

So, why do I run? It's that moment that I step outside into the cool air, the sun shining on my face, and the breeze blowing through my hair... all the stresses of the day instantly melt away and I am able to realize all the true beauty in the world.

Running also provides me with an opportunity to find out what I am truly made of!  How far can I push myself today?  How fast can I run before I have to stop?  How many Kilometers can I squeeze in this week? 

Sometimes I wonder who I really am when I run.  I feel like a completely different person, a strong and confident person.  Someone who knows what they want and is not afraid to go and get it!  Running gives me a sense of control and strength.  I love going through my day knowing that I was up before most people and have already completed my run, what a sense of accomplishment!  This is something I want more of in my life, and not just when I run... so this is the exact reason I run!

Today... November 11th, 2010, Running I will unite again!  It is time to conquer the world :)

Aha Moment

July has been an interesting month thus far. It all began with the most thought provoking holiday I had ever experienced. One that has made me question far more than I ever thought possible. Majority of what I learnt I will save for another day. Today, however, I will focus on how it has impacted my running!


I have recently realized that I began this journey with the wrong intentions. Originally, my purpose was to ‘gain control over my life’… which to me truthfully meant to lose weight and stick to a training schedule so that I could run as fast as “everyone” else. Like many others, I believed that if I was skinnier and a faster runner I would be accepted. Boy was I off my rocker, Silly Me!!!

As it turns out, both of these reasons had absolutely nothing to do with me and what I needed or wanted; therefore I have failed. As they say, hind-sight is 20-20, so in hind-sight I should have expected not to be able to reach my goal with such silly intentions.

On July 2, I missed my first 5km, and since then there have been more. It has taken me 22 days to come clean with you. In the beginning it was because I was ashamed, and worried about what you might think. But this week, after much self reflection, I have come to a very important realization…

I can only control my own thoughts. The only person I let down was ME! In order to succeed in anything in life, I NEED to accept myself and have faith in my abilities.

As I read back through my blogs, it is more obvious in some than in others, that maybe somewhere deep inside I have always known this… but for some reason, majority of the time it eluded me.

I think sometime between the early stages of childhood and our pre-teens, we start to let what we believe others think about us, control us. We forget the importance of our own dreams and fulfillment.

With this realization at the forefront, I am going to continue my self-reflection. I need to find the answer to some very important questions…Why do I run? What do I gain from it? How does it fit into who I am? Until then, I will continue with my journey of self discovery, which running is still a part of (at some level).

Built for Comfort, Not for Speed

It’s always entertaining reading the mantras, team phrases, or inspirational quotes on the back of running shirts. People come up with some pretty creative statements. Last December Matt and I, along with some good friends ran the Las Vegas marathon. We thought it would be a great idea to get T-shirt made with a bright red maple leaf on the front, and a catchy slogan on the back; mine was “Built for Comfort, Not for Speed.”


It wasn’t until yesterday I actually realized what that truly meant to me. Originally, I picked that slogan because of course it was funny, but secondly I had never really been the skinny runner type; there has always been a little cushion (which I am proud of). But yesterday morning at about 5:40 am, I had an ‘aha’ moment!

On Thursdays I run sprints around the track, with plans to increase my overall speed. This was my fourth week doing 400 meter sprints; therefore… it was four dreaded repeats! Well this morning, Matt decided he would join me. Of course, I forgot to mention the sprints until we were nearly at the track. Now running 5km or more, I can out run Matt anytime, anyplace… but 400 meter sprints, that’s a totally different story.

Lap One - How is it possible that he is keeping up with me?

Lap Two - Are you kidding me, he just beat me? He’s lucky if he runs twice a week.

Lap Three - How does he make this look so easy, I am ready to puke!

Lap Four - Okay, now he’s not even trying, this is not fair!

Of course, the entire time, I was trying as hard as I could to beat Matt, my pride would just not let me give up. Meanwhile, at the end of each sprint, Matt continued to remind me that it wasn’t a race! So, this morning, after four attempts, it became crystal clear that there is no way I could beat Matt in a 400 meter sprint. I was truly built for the comfort of distance running, and not for the speed of sprinting.

The Zen of Running

I have survived 165 days of running… only 200 more to go! It’s hard to believe that I am nearly half way to my goal, a goal that in the beginning days I thought was unachievable. Now here I am, already 165 times healthier, both mentally and physically.

One of the most surprising things that I have learnt over the past 165 days is that running with an iPod is extremely overrated. Now don’t get me wrong, running the trails, singing John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Hurt So Good”, and doing some kind of a runners jig, does make for an exhilarating run. But I have learnt that there is actually some sort of zen-nus when it comes to running.

Though “zoning out” with your iPod doesn’t really count, I do believe that taking to the road without distractions and focusing on your breathing and the present moment can certainly be considered as meditation. What other natural alternative can make the stresses of your day melt away so quickly? I can promise you that Matt would rather have the pavement feel the wrath of my stress than have me take it out on him! Not that I beat him or anything…

This awareness has taken me nearly six months of running every day to realize, and I am not sure if I completely understand the full power and potential of it. What I do know is I love that moment, about 2 km into a run, when you are able to hit the mute button on your inner voice and all you can hear is the rhythm of your breathing and the constant pulse of your footsteps. In that moment, and that moment alone, my world seems at peace.

Blame it on the Rain

Today I came to two very important realizations.  The first, after 4 straight days of rain… there is no way to avoid stepping on every worm.  In my 29 years of life, I don’t think I have seen so many worms in one location.  It seemed as though all of the worms that lived in Lacombe’s vital soil had congregated on the trial outside my house.

The second realization, and probably the most important … at 5:30 am this morning, about 2 km into a run with Matt, while the rain was dripping off my rain coat, I realized that my husband hates running!

For about the past year in the back of my mind, I knew that he wasn’t as passionate about it as I was, but I always thought that there was hope.  This morning that bubble burst into about five pieces.  The first, as he marched down the stairs to the front door with a scowl on his face, the second as he complained about his wet feet, the third the grumble about his coat no longer being water proof, the forth a loud huff as we changed directions and the wind blew the rain into our faces, and finally the fifth, the moment home was in sight he took off in a sprint so he could be done that much sooner!

Meanwhile, I am taking in every gift that Mother Nature has to offer.  The sound of rain on my hood was a steady tempo to keep pace with.  In the distance, I could hear this morning birds chirping a beautiful song.  The cool breeze and rain was a nice change from the previous runs where I nearly overheated.  And the worms, who could forget about the worms, and how trying to avoid them as best as possible made this morning’s run fly by.

Of course, when I brought this insight to Matt’s attention, like Milli Vanilli, he just blames it on the rain.  So today, June 10th at 6:00 am, I vowed to myself never again to insist that Matt should run with me in the rain.

SuperGirl!

The alarm went off at 5:30 am on Sunday morning.  My stomach still felt gross and my nerves were getting the best of me.  It took me what felt like forever to down my breakfast, knowing I would need the energy in a few short hours.  Sitting there, drinking my coffee and looking out the window at the trees dancing in the wind, it didn't seem like a great day for a 1/2 marathon.

Standing at the start line, trying not to vomit, all I could think about was those measly 29 seconds that have been haunting me for the past month.  All I had to do today was keep a steady pace and maintain my strength and energy for the last few kilometers.

The first 5 km went by easy, and I was able to shake those butterflies.  At the 10km mark, my time was 58 minutes and 29 seconds, a personal best for me.  As I looked down at my Garmin and saw a 5.30 pace, I kept thinking to myself "you need to slow down, this is going to hurt!" 

As the kilometers ticked by, it was as though I was not myself.  No, I was SuperGirl!  I had unlimited energy, and I was maintain a pace that was unimaginable to me.  I passed the 20 km marker, and looked down again... 1 hour, 58 minutes, 28 seconds.  Not only was I going to run a PB today, I was going to kill it!

I crossed this finish line at 2 hours, 2 minutes, and 39 seconds - a PB by 12 minutes.  What an absolutely amazing race!

29 Seconds...

Have you ever had a moment where your goal was so close to you, you could almost taste it? This past Sunday morning was one of those moments for me...

It all started Saturday evening, Matt and I were enjoying a wonderful supper with some friends down in Calgary. It had been raining most of the afternoon, and felt fairly cold outside, but I was trying hard not to think about it. During our meal, I looked over to the window and noticed snow flakes the size of pancakes falling at an insane rate. At that moment, my heart sunk.

The reason this was so devastating to me was, I was registered to run a half marathon on Sunday morning at 8am. No one in their right mind wants to run 21.1 km in the wet, cold snow. All that keep going through my mind was "Please stop snowing... I will do anything, if it would just stop!" We left the restaurant , and by the time we got back to the hotel, there was nearly an inch of the white stuff grinning at me. Arrrggg!

Sunday morning arrived, and as I made my way to the window, I had no idea what to expect. To my surprise, the snow had stopped and it wasn't even raining! In all honesty, it looked like it could be a fairly great day for a run.

Standing at the start line, "Eye of The Tiger" blaring from the speakers, the race began. Who knew if it was just the adrenaline, but the first 10km seemed easy... I was well on my way to that coveted PB, all I had to do was keep up my pace. The second half proved to be interesting... A huge hill out of the river valley, a pedestrian bridge with switch backs, and the longest overpass possible at 19.5 km, were the highlights one might say. With only 2km remaining, my legs began to ache. Could I push myself hard enough to catch that personal best? Only 500 metres to go, looking down at my watch, I knew it was no longer possible. The PB had escaped me, and only by 29 seconds!

I spent the rest of the morning between two worlds... one was filled with joy because I had just cut nearly 8 minutes off my time from February's race, all this running was paying off. The other world was filled with frustration. I keep thinking about what I 'should' have done differently. No worries though, soon the joy took over, and all I could do was smile!

You better watch out PB, because on May 23 I am coming for you!!!

Moose Crossing

Runners are always working towards their next personal best (PB), and I am no different. If you were to look at my running schedule for 2010, you would notice that it is peppered with half marathons. The ultimate goal? That coveted PB.

See, my current half PB rests with my first half marathon... Red Deer, May 2007. What's amazing to me is that this has become the time to beat, a run that was completed with very little running knowledge, and 'in proper' training. I was just running to run. (Maybe there is something I could learn from this first experience.)

The past two weeks, I have been running my long runs with a good friend in Red Deer. During both of these runs, I have had the pleasure of crossing the path of at least one moose. I have lived in Alberta most of my life, and I can only recall seeing maybe four moose during this time... but to now to see three, in a matter of two weeks, in the booming metropolis of Red Deer, both times during my long run... that's pretty amazing to me. It's got to be a sign, I'm sure of it!

The way I see it, the moose must be the mystical creature of delivering running personal bests. To see a moose during a run, it's an absolute given that you will achieve a PB in the near future. And I've seen three! This is going to be a great year :)

By the way, I will be running Red Deer again this May, and I have my eye set on the prize, the first (of at least three) PB of 2010.

Struggling to keep my head above water...

The past month has been extremely difficult for me. As time went on, I seemed to be sinking into a depression just a little more each day. About 2 weeks ago I realized that something just wasn’t right, and it wasn’t "just one of those days" again, it was so much more.

When depression starts to set in, for me, motivation seems to be the first thing to go out the window. As you can see by the lack of my blogging, my motivation was long gone. Not only has blogging been none existent, but homework, running, cooking, cleaning, my marriage… they have all seemed to be suffering.

The good news is… I have gotten out the door everyday since January and still completed 5km. The bad news? Some of those days have been walking rather than running. To be exact, 10 of those days. The best news of all... I have realized that there is things in my life that I am unhappy with. Now I can go about changing that.

Running has given me the ability to take some time for myself. While I am out there pounding the pavement, I think about everything imaginable. It has given me time to determine what I am unhappy with and more importantly what I am going to do to create the future I want. It also gives me the ability to work off any anger or stress that might be weighing on me.

I honestly feel that running has allowed me to determine early enough that things weren't right. It has given me the strength I need to kick my feet, and now I am well on my way to the shore!

Olympic Pride

The Winter Olympics started this week... and it is so exciting to me. I am so inspired by all those athletes that dedicate their life to becoming the best they can be. It makes me believe that anything is possible. It also makes my mesly daily runs seem possible. It is the motivation I need to push forward through this journey.

A few of the runs I had this week seemed a lot harder than usual. Not only was I low on energy, but my body was also sore. My left leg has had a few twinges lately, especially my knee and my lower calf muscle. I was also trying hard not to let my nerves get the best of me as the first race of the year was approaching.

Valentine's Day was spent at the Hypothermic 1/2 marathon in Edmonton. The wind chill over night was not pretty, but in the end it turned out to be such a beautiful day for a run. The hypothermic has to be one of the toughest 1/2 marathons I have ran so far. Races with that distantance in the snow could be compared to running in the sand on the beach... it kills the calves and hip flexors. To my surprise, I had a great run. As I crossed the finish line, not only was I smiling because I knew I had beat last year's time, but I was also flashing my red Canadian Olympic mits. Go Canada!

Do You Have The Time??

Another two weeks have gone by and still I am running every day. I am able to find the time to fit my runs in, but time to do homework and blog is difficult. It seems like each days is zooming by and I am not nearly accomplishing enough, though my days are packed to the brim with everything it seems. By the time 9pm rolls around I am so exhausted, the dream fairies are already flying around my head.

I turned 29 last week... that day was an interesting run for me. I spent the run contimplating where I was at in my life and whether or not it is what I expected. It's funny to think that when we are younger we have a picture for our life... what we are going to do after highschool, what kind of career we will choose, when we will get married and how happy we will be? I am happy in my life, but I am not sure if this is what I had pictured.

What I have began to notice as time goes by is that running every day is helping me prioritize what is important to accomplish today, and what can wait for tomorrow. It also is helping me realize that somethings are not worth stressing over...

Better than drugs... or so I have heard

My plans all along were to blog weekly, but it seems that life keeps getting in the way!!! See, last Saturday afternoon while shopping, Matt and I decided to check out the pet store. It used to be one of our favorite things to do in the Red Deer, but up until last Saturday we hadn't been in the store in over a year. Anyways, we feel in love with a shy little puppy who could win over anyone, even those with a frozen heart. With a discussion over coffee regarding the pros and cons of owning a dog... we decided it was time to expand our little family. Matt and I became the proud parents of little Rylee. We spent the remainder of the weekend trying to get used to having a furry shadow. Sometime around supper time on Sunday night I came to realise what we actually got ourselves into. Gulp!

The running routine that I had become accustom to had to change. Rylee needs lots of attention, especially when it comes to training her. So this week I started running at 5:20 am... a time when most sane people are sleeping, like they should be. I can honestly say, I am not a morning person! I am the type that requires at least 20 minutes to myself before I will even acknowledge those around me. So for me to get up at 5:00 am and be out the door within those 20 minutes is like some kind of a miracle.

The interesting fact is that at 5:20 am while I am pounding the snow outside I am beginning to realise how much I depend on running as a stress release. This past week, especially while Matt and I were on the brink of insanity because of Rylee, running has become my saviour. I can leave the house with my blood well above boiling point and come home humming the last song on my playlist; feeling like I have accomplished something pretty amazing even if it was just 5 km.

This week I surpassed the 100 km mark. My runs have mostly consisted of 5 km's but with a little more motivation, and time pressure, that is going to change. In 4 weeks from now Matt and I are running a half marathon in Edmonton... so unless I want to cry during the last half of the race, I am going to have to start picking it up a little more!

The Joy of Running, in Canada!

This has been an interesting week, weather wise. Tuesday and Wednesday proved to be the coldest days I have ran in since last winter. Tuesday was a measly -21 degrees celesius, -5.8 fahrenheit... and Wednesday was a balmy -29 degrees celesius (-35 with the wind chill), -20 fahrenheit. Today on the other hand got up to +7 degrees celesius, a tease before that darn winter weather returns for the remainder of January.

Matt (my husband) spent the week learning how to dress for the weather. On January 3rd we were forced to cut our long run short because Matt was on the verge of becoming hypothermic. The next day he was dripping with sweat and had to take layers off. I made my suggestions, but being Matt... he has to figure it out on his own.

On Wednesday during our run, I posed this question to Matt: "Why don't our eye balls ever get frostbite?" It was interesting to me that we were covered from head to toe with layers of clothing, except for our eyes. By the end of the run, my eye lashes were coated with ice, but yet my eye balls were fine. Even as a child, I could spend hours on end outside in the fridgid Canadian winters, bundled to the nine... and my eyes always survived. Thank goodness for those toasty eye sockets!

"Time for the weather report. Its cold out folks. Bonecrushing cold. The kind of cold which will wrench the spirit out of a young man, or forge it into steel." ~ Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Lost and Found, 1992

Not a New Years Resolution, but a Life Journey

I never imagined running to be more than just that, running. But it is so much more. Running has become a close friend of mine, without even realizing it. The thing about running is it never leaves you crying in the middle of the road, even if you are running by yourself... you are never by 'yourself'. While I'm out there pounding the pavement I am able to vent stresses of the day, come up with what I think are brilliant ideas, and realize what I am capable of and then push myself just a little bit further.

I started running 'seriously' in 2007. Prior to that, I had ran a few 5 and 1o km's on the treadmill at the local gym: my so-called weight loss plan. Then, for some reason in 2007, I thought it would be a good idea to train for a half marathon... why start small? When it's time to get into the water, it is always best to jump in with both feet! Since then, I have learnt a lot more about running and what goes along with it. To date, I have completed 6 half marathons and 3 full marathons, and still no 5 or 10km races!

Today on January 1st, 2010 though I will begin a new challenge. I will be running every day for the next 365 days, and somehow I have convinced my husband to join me for the ride. Each day will consist of at least a 5km run, with some actual training runs stuffed in there as well. My hopes for this challenge is that it will help me to gain control of my life, both emotionally and physically, but that it will also help rejuvenate my relationship with my husband.

January 1st might not have been the best choice for a day to begin this journey, you know with all the failing new years resolutions and not to mention the alcoholic beverages consumed on new years eve, but here we are. Thank goodness today is only a 5km run!